Some days I ask “Why?”

Some days I ask God why I survived my car accident 3 years ago.

I beg to know why I survived and ask how can I cope with the pain. I ask why I didn’t die, to end the emotional exhaustion I’ve lived with my whole life without needing to suicide.

Some days I know why. I’ve got a purpose, I’ve got a lot to give this world.

Other days I just can’t imagine what use I can be to anyone or anything.

Today is one of those other days.

 

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels

2 thoughts on “Some days I ask “Why?”

  1. I find myself drifting and wondering why I’m still here, but without an event like the car accident you survived. I can see how that is a poignant aspect of you wondering why, though I’d say ‘why not’. You survived, you’re still kicking, and you’re perhaps struggling with the ‘why’ question more because you’re very self-aware. A lot of people seem to have the survival gene to keep them afloat, wanting to live, seeking happiness, and ‘why’ isn’t something they ever really think about. But you want that bigger reason, and it’s there, you have a purpose, and you deserve to enjoy your life as best you can without feeling the need to earn that with a reason/purpose/ultimate goal. This is a toughie because even knowing these things doesn’t necessarily change how you feel. I’m sorry you’ve having one of those days. Sending hugs your way…xx
    Caz

    Like

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